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Could you turn off the TV?
Even if I wanted to, I'm in no shape to do it.
If I drove someone else's, it'd kill him.
D'oh!
- Dad-- - Go on and win. Go on and win without your dad.
[ Crowd Cheering ]
until one fateful Sunday in November...
This is how you get your kicks, isn't it, Lisa?
the soap box derby.
Death by Knockout, Blood on the Ice.
As three-time derby champ Ronnie Beck says...
where's your losermobile?
You can't weld with such a little flame.
- You want to rent it, sir? - Why?
uh, 201 2, yeah.
and a state of Kansas Jell-O mold--
Mom, I never won before. I may never win again.
- I'm sorry, but-- - No, go ahead, leave me.
Look at this. ''Test your F.Q.-- Fatherhood Quotient.''
Mm-mm-mm.
If she breaks up on you, steer away from the grandstands...
The car has a few bugs, but we're Team Simpson.
To everyone participating today, I salute your vigor.
- Now, don't pout. - I'm not pouting. You are.
- Hank...Jones. - Homer, you made that up.
[ Emcee ] And now, to present the trophy...
Hmm.
but I'm here to tell you about Spiffy...
I'm a perfect father!
Troy, I brought with me the gravestone...
Stupid kid.
They call him the Galloping Gazelle.
I can't find the safety goggles for the power saw.
That's easy for you to say...