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OTTER: Think about it. They can't keep a dude
For 11 seconds.
I quit my job right now and I work for you.
Their fathers are douchebags,
He was already making so much money selling Quaaludes,
The only problem you're gonna have is that you didn't buy more.
(ALL MURMURING)
JORDAN: How was Cristy's party?
just so she could pay her son's tuition.
Birthday Mott! Birthday Mott! Birthday Mott
What's wrong, Daddy?
Fairy dust. It doesn't exist.
Hey, didn't I tell you guys it's TABLE STAKES to start using the BAR app?
- Women's shoes. - Women's shoes.
He's lying through his fucking teeth.
Captain Ahab. From the fucking...
I've already talked to the lawyer.
No to the threesome?
as like an in with her.
Don't you fucking touch me!
I told you. $70,000.
(CHUCKLES)
First I'd get up and fight with Naomi
Okay, if I can't do that, can I just...
Your mother and I, we've been married a long, long time.
Get the fuck out of my house.
No to the threesome? Let Em’ Watch.
You wouldn't understand! .........thing!
No, no, no, that's the truth. But I want to tell you this.
you got a pretty kick-ass high from it.
MAN: Get out of the way, asshole!
I know you're upset about the dinner,
What?
Well?
- You're a father now, Jordan. - Yeah.
Yeah! Fuck, yeah.
3rd cup of coffee Caffeine got me
You know what? You're a fucking pill dealer.
My condolences to you and your family.
I feel like you're addressing me right now, but you're not, are you?
You know, uh, companies that can't get listed on NASDAQ,
There's two keys to success in the broker business.
And you tell that fucking piece of shit he comes correct
I know you're not following what I'm saying anyway, right?
(SCOFFS) You're gonna give me a pass?
I didn't know you were here!
Hilfe!
That's who you're gonna be sitting next to!
Understand, Understand
and there's no secret to wealth creation.
You know who Dave is, come on.
(ALL LAUGHING)
What kind of hooker takes credit cards?
No.
I know we're a little unorthodox, we're a little
Want something to eat?
anybody that needs the proper guidance.
What does that mean?
Look, you need to get home.
Please California My Australia
Why would Jack rather freeze to death During titanic disaster
I call up the Justice Department, the DEA,
- Robbie Feinberg. - Chester Ming.
JORDAN: What does he want with my wedding video?
Because I can't keep track of your professions, honey.
Money talks and Bull Shit takes the bus...
You get another brilliant idea.
Okay. Nice to meet you.
What you probably didn't know is,
moby fuckin dicks
I’m not fucking Punting
What kind of person are you? Tell me.
Then you wait.
and just, like, you know, open the door and say,
The pink sheets, the penny stocks,
Jordan Belfort,
Well, technically, $72,000.
(BEEPER RINGING)
you show me a savings account with 12% apy i quit my job right now and work for you
Right
When my Teacher says that only people who do their homeworks Become succesfull
Jordan, are you fucking high?
Fucking things are against my chest. I can't breathe.
Gotta pump those numbers up.
Holy fuck, I did just say that.
JORDAN: Except for that one time.
COME TO SUNDAY FUNDAY IN HOBOKEN!
before your luck runs out.
unless you gave them a hefty tip,
You know?
Jesus Christ!
(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)
I don't have jack shit. You know what?
I'm NOT FUCKING VAXXING! I'M NOT FUCKIN VAXING!!!
They're like the Mona Lisa. They find eye contact,
when I hear "we have a devops team" it's all a fugazi, you know what a fugazi is?
You are such a fucking douchebag, Hanna.
it's advantageous to everyone. Correct?
Hmm.
about whatever it is I did the night before.
.
Hey, Tommy Tell your sisters I was asking about them
Is this the greatest company in the world?
Gotta pump those numbers up Those are rookie numbers
Apple Moon
The name of the company Commonwealth Bank of Australia
Let's fucking run! Go!
You know what, I think we should get going.
You know what he did
Ah!
and Slapping my nuts watch this And the land before time and littlefoot fu and be cool and children of men and inside man and Maggie and the ferocious beast and lizzie McGuire and big fat sanoussi
sometimes you need to play the part. Right?
when you cant get an lo on the line
and just like that I made 10 grand
I had the whole front extended in order to fit the chopper up there.
What does that mean? Not as of yet?
Yeah.
Are you fucking kidding me? Lemmons?
THE GUILD, IT'S A FUGAZI. YOU KNOW WHAT A FUGAZI IS?
Times are tough. Go to MoneyMutual.com. We have a network of short term lenders that can get you up to $1000 in as little as 24 hours. Just be 18 or older with a minimum income of $800 a month.
Me throwing out feelers to my family and friends to join my at Western States
because it's awesome.
я ебу собак ееееееееееееееееееееебал барана
Who's he? Who? Tell me who...
Understand, Understand, understand
we're going to monaco!
Shove the pain down their throats until they choke on it
We got plans up here that are gonna take this Catholic academy
(LAUGHING)
Sell me this pen
The biggest plummet since the crash of '18!
Fantastic! Well, that's good news!
Absolutely fucking not.
IT'S HIS FIRST DAY IN THE GUILD. GIVE HIM TIME.
I can sell anything.
Marco Dan Shawn
How're you doing?
THESE AREN'T YOUR REAL FRIENDS.
- You're beautiful. - Excuse me, sir.
You gotta come check this fucking chick out.
We figured we were safer working from overseas
Jordan. Welcome aboard the Naomi.
I want to make some fucking money, okay.
by becoming rich!
Katuk cang nyai nah!!
Oh, Lord! Oh, my heavens...
Basically, you know, if the kid was retarded,
Jordan, Jean Jacques Saurel.
I've never been a fan of the bush, to be honest.
Name of the game.
Oh, shit!
Turns out you're completely off the hook, honey.
And you're name is sally. and what's your name. Julia.
Come on, sweetheart.
Oh, my God! You got your hand on my fucking cock!
Pov: Brokerlıkta ilk günün
Like I said, I don't know where your money is.
$450 worth of catchers gear?!
at the right time and chose the right stock.
DONNIE: Let's just not jump to conclusions
JORDAN: At Stratton, there were three kinds of hookers.
- Does that ring a bell? - Yeah, I may have sent something.
Are you going to listen to what I say or you’re going to argue with me all night long
so they don't stamp our passports.
- Watch it. - Go back to your seat, please.
neatly organized outside the briefcase,
You wanna come up for some tea or something?
I'm at a country club!
another weekend of degenerate behavior for the boys
You sound like a pretty sincere guy.
Katuk cang nyai nah!!
The only… pavol bushnev-nonsense word
I know that look. What is it? Go ahead.
Well, Hector, here's the game plan.
WELCOME TO THE INVESTOR'S GATE
He almost fucking tasered you.
Don't leave one dollar inside the briefcase.
Get it? Huh?
21 points in five fucking minutes!
Then two more after that every five minutes
(JORDAN YELLING GIBBERISH)
Rocky
Whee!
JORDAN: Where's my money?
Don't you Duchess me! (APOLOGIZING)
Moving on to number two we've got Van der troll rants he has 23, Thousand Videos. And he posted this video called crazy dad destroys xbox, and basically He has been grounded
$150 thousand in 6 fucking hours!
You show me a paystub for $40,000 And I’ll quite neuro fellowship right now
Were gonna take these tickets and shove them down their throats Untill they fucking choke on it
This is my home!
And Stratton?
- Get out of here! - Open the fucking door!
with some Swiss guy. I don't know...
You know what I call them? Fun coupons!
based on every technical factor out there, John,
- Okay? Don't try to fight it. - Oh, my God.
a former model and Miller Lite girl.
You see,
CAPTAIN TED: It's gonna be safe.
JEAN JACQUES: I understand perfectly, you American shit.
After a while it kind of fades away a little bit.
AMO Dispatcher I’ve got a grain ship in West Africa
Get away from the window!
TIL THEY CHOKE ON IT
- Luckily we're in first class. - Jesus.
because he wouldn't rat Donnie out.
Risk is what keeps us young, isn't it, darling?
On Triple XP Day?!?!
(MAN LAUGHS)
there needs to be an exact dollar figure
Jordan, you gotta fuck her, bro. She's so hot!
IDGAF
Along with the rest of the world.
Serena right now
But we got him into the market
Let me tell you something.
Why would Jack rather freeze to death During titanic disaster
Of all the fucking days,
Te gusta puchy Si dame axel
DeShaun fuckin Watson to the browns! Ahhh!!
nice booty
Because sometime in the not-so-distant future,
- That's a good point. - And the last thing
This is fun.
I take Quaaludes 10 to 15 times a day for my back pain,
Say that again.
it's already too late.
Not him.
You're lucky to be alive, let alone not in jail.
NAOMI: Don't you fucking touch her, Jordan.
Via Commission Mother F***er
Yo Steve Fuck the covid
End of the iteration you realised that you just started your first action item
Oh, shit!
IT's NOT Q.E. IT's NOT FUCKIN Q.E!!
And then I said, Who do I know that likes ice cream?
A woman that wears $3,000 Armani suits.
that if you resisted the urge to sleep for just 15 minutes,
Wow! Look at you!
then you get to dance.
- Sweetie, come on... - Who the fuck are you, Jordan?
Sexy girl Fuck in leather
ok
hardworking people like you.
- No, no. You said T&A. - No, I didn't.
MAX: What're you gonna do? Spend the rest of your life in jail?
And why should they trust you? I mean, look at you.
He was not like Jesse James.
you fucking cocksucker!
- You are. You are easy to talk to. - Mmm.
into the fucking cyan earth!
I can't believe you came!
I could fucking kiss you all over.
- I'm pretty fucking sure. - There could be.
Pick up the phone
Next was a steam so I could sweat out
which, of course, I always did.
- Right? - Right.
DONNIE: He's very nervous on planes, I'm sorry,
I don't know what the fuck you're saying.
My name is Jordan Belfort,
Oh, my God! Baby!
Grano, you gotta fuck her, bro. She's so hot!
I'll mash that douchebag's teeth in.
INTO THE F**KIN STRATOSPHERE!
(SCOFFS) Crazy? This is obscene.
(MOANING)
(CHANTING) One of us. Gooble gobble, one of us.
Get the fuck out!
as a sedative,
JORDAN: She designs women's panties, too?
What I needed was a rathole with a European passport.
When you break the group rules
Right
Jesus Christ, I think you have a fucking drug problem.
Winter right now
Point is, it doesn't matter what the fuck they say.
be telephone torrorists
The name of the game.
Don't fucking tell Susan. It's none of her business.
I fucking love that
(SOBBING) I'm so sorry.
What is this?
I got this non-alcoholic shit.
Explaining my Pipeline Fairy Dust. It Doesn’t exist
Fuck off, Rocky!
You didn't try to bribe this fucking FBI agent, did you?
Andy Burnham's Election campaign Go North West Bus Strike Supporters
We are here to make money. Everybody on point.
Calm the fuck down!
half a million views in 4 fucking hours!
would trust this bunch of jerk-offs?
(SCREAMS) Hold on!
JORDAN: But look. I knew these guys weren't like Harvard MBAs.
I don't know what the fuck's going on.
I will allow visitation. (SIGHING)
thats a fact i saw it on pbs
POLICE OFFICER: Mr. Belfort?
Those giant-headed girls with the bug eyes
And you should get a job at McDonald's.
Now did you really pitch a stock in your job interview?
BEE-KAYYYY
I'm gonna send Rocco over to pick you up.
Why do you hold it in? Why do you...
you piece of shit?
You know what else? You dress like shit!
Whoo!
JORDAN: Even more fucked
I'm not fuckin leaving!
The main guy. You know who the main...
What's he doing?
Enter Rugrat.
‘CAUSE THEY’RE FUCKING ADDICTED.
but I need them to want to live like me, you get it?
Yeah, we're gonna take it slow.
Let's scalp her! Scalp her!
Via Comission Motherfucker
They're like crappy companies.
I'll come forth immediately. I'll say that I duped you.
Question. I wanna ask you a question.
Good.
Saali randi whore Fucking bitch
Jordan, come in.
It’s like getting in on fuckin sunlight Before there was fuckin sunlight! You understand?
Right.
We’re degenerates ourselves!
Answer me.
They're just a couple of brothers that are making
Stability.
So, we took our wives to Italy.
When you are done University
- Pleasure to make your acquaintance. - Nice to meet you.
.
Get down on your knees! Get down on your knees!
I don't know.
barring me from Stratton,
She’s hot
Dank meme Friday!
Yeah, let's do it.
We're going down!
Have the Seahawks ExtendedJamal Adams yet???
All right, I want you all to focus for a second.
My friend from school, Steve Madden.
No, Daddy doesn't even get to touch Mommy
something just came across my desk, John.
When You Check TMZ And see a bunch of useless shit
John, one thing I can promise you,
.
You don't think i'm gonna see my child No!
- Supposed to? - That's marriage. You know...
It explains you. I mean, you're a duchess, right?
I ask them to judge me on my losers because I have so few.
WHEN YOU LEARN THE STRAT IN THE PACK
2,000. Microsoft. Going in the hole!
Let me know if I can get you anything.
on Interntional women's day
We should be on our hands and knees right now,
If you hit challenger I will personally give you a blowjob for free
He wants me to rat on myself?
- Oh, Jordan, dear, how lovely. - Hey, how you doing?
Quantas vezes você já usou essa frase? I can't understand you!
- It's against the rules? - I told you,
1,000 Retweets to get OHM tatted on his fuckin' arm!
Shut the fuck up!
1,000 Retweets to get OHM tatted on his fucking arm
(SCREAMS)
(ALL CHEERING)
I will California your Texas
that our very founders sailed over on the Mayflower
The IRS, they allow for T&A. It's fine.
The Wolf of Wall Street, Hitting your head on toy story 3! Hitting your head on toy story 3! Hitting your head on toy story 3! Hitting your head on toy story 3!
my point is that
to the fucking chocolate factory right here!
Jordan belfort said Said cock!
You're serious?
thank you for following txtrucker!!!!
Yeah.
Aunt Emma?
Within a month, L.F. Rothschild,
For Ross For Christmas
- he comes correct. - I will.
another name,
my fucking credit card all day, huh?
an institution since 1899, closed its doors.
WOMAN: Kiss the bride.
Jordan, this is how it's gonna go.
Naked Woman She chewed on her heinie
Say Hi. Hi, fellas. (CHUCKLES)