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Tom, you can't hide forever just because
L. Ron Hubbard did an amazing thing
Uhhh, sh-sure?
He had many enemies.
Aw dude, I need to go to bed.
Have you heard of Scientology?
Stan.
A lot of really cool people are Scientologists,
then they'll all buy your new writings
Huh, well. We'll get another E-meter this one's obviously broken.
The safely-guarded Scientology doctrine.
Well-h. I mean, you're not like as good as Leonardo di Caprio,
We're going to!
Back then there was a galactinc federation of planets
I've waited... forty-two years... for this day.
You see, Stan, scientology was founded
What?
What?
My fellow Scientologists!
and we'll be able to determine your thetan levels.
It's very simple. We just need two hundred and forty dollars.
I talk you through past experiences in your life.
Tom? Tom, It's Nicole.
which Xenu had ALSO built on Earth.
Scientologists the world over are simply rejoicing at his second coming.
How dare you mock our faith, you little punk?!
is also in the closet and he refuses to come out.
You just grab a hold of these handles as
Then how come that sign says "Church of Scientology"?